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kickmydooty
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Name: Dury
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 9/6/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: anything that makes me happy.
Expertise: soccer. volleyball. track.
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  dury XXIV
Member Since:
7/9/2004
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| i have been trying to come up with
something to describe what i feel about
all whats happened and the word that best
fits is, numb. when the unexpected hits,
it stings pretty bad for the time being
and then you process what the hell
exactly happened...& moments later you
are completely numb. you feel absolute numbness.
when you're feeling numb all your senses
dull and you're in this glazed over haze.
as for me, all these memories kept flashing
through my mind. whenever i closed my
eyes it was as if i was looking at a photo
album in fast-forward mode.as if i was
watching a movie of all the moments &
memories of and with richard since we were
toddlers...till the last words exchanged with
him... and then movies over, le fin. it felt
so real especially when i was still able to hear
his voice in my mind. then i would open
my eyes to face the reality of the
fact that he no longer physically exists.
never again would i be able to see him with
my own eyes, hear his voice, sit
next to him on sundays or hang out
with him every week. none of that would
ever happen again, and i was upset.
i was angry because i knew that God
had control of life and death and i knew
that He was to be blamed for all this.
for a couple of days, i kept cursing
Him for taking away one of the best people
i knew & loved. not just me, hundreds
of people absolutely loved richard. and for
a while, i wasnt able to sleep because i
was not at peace with the fact
that richard is not here. i was later
reminded again that richard is in a better
place than this world so why be upset?
why be angry? everything happens
for a reason. i didnt know what to feel.
& then these same words kept popping
into my mind...
jai guru deva om.
i caught myself mindlessly humming the
tune of my favorite song across the universe
- the beatles. written in sanskrit,
"jai guru deva om" means
"i thank my heavenly teacher".
this is a permanent reminder to be thankful
for everything, anytime & anywhere no
matter what the situation. i, dury kim,
should be thankful.
i got this tattoo the day before valentines
day of my junior year. february 13, 2007.
& the reason which adds on to the bigger
picture of all this is that, ironically richard
was the one who brought me to the tattoo
parlor, introduced me to the artist, and had
them preview it before it was permanently
inked onto my skin.
if it wasn't for richard, i would not have
this saying on me now and if that never
happened, i still would not clearly
understand or have an answer to what i
feel. its crazy through all this, the meaning
of "jai guru deva om" goes to a whole
new level of meaning & perspective.
i am thankful that i got to
know richard as a best friend &
brother. i am thankful that richard
impacted so many people in his nineteen
years of living life. i am thankful that
richard was there for me through
thick & thin when other weren't.
i am thankful for all the
countless moments spent with
him. i am thankful for richard being
a good son, brother and friend to
everyone. i am so thankful for you
richard sim.
jai guru deva om.
i will always miss you,
Rest in Peace
Dec 29, 1988 -June 28, 2008.
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| 1st semester of senior year :
winter formal: "IN THE JUNGLE":
sheemo, linds, ky, lara, me
sheemo, linds, ky, lara, me, kaila, mattie, random, kelly, ruth
lara me kaila
homecoming ATLANTIS 2008:
atlanteans
we made our costumes out of pillow cases!
shortie & me & alex
ktao & me
rallies:
field hockey, field hockey, volleyball, field hockey, field hockey
kari, kaila, me, haley
sports:
CYSA SOCCER De Anza Bulldogs U-19
lynbrook volleyball undefeated league champs 1st place
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words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup
they slither wildly as they slip away across the universe
pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind
possessing and caressing me
jai guru deva om
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes
they call me on and on across the universe
thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe
jai guru deva om
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
sounds of laughter shades of live are ringing through my open ears
inciting and inviting me
limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns
it calls me on and on, across the universe
jai guru deva om
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
jai guru deva
jai guru deva
jai guru deva
jai guru deva
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